The one about waiting in line

Every year when I visit America, something rubs me the wrong way so bad that I have to respond with passion.  This year it is that stupid way Americans stand in line.

This past summer I spent a month and a half in America.  One day at Wal-Mart in Bay City, Michigan, I approached the self check-out area and saw an empty station.  There was a woman and her child standing in the area, well back from the self check-out stations, but the woman made no move toward the empty station, so I walked up to it.  A few seconds later I hear this muttering, "He saw me standing here..."  I turned and after a few choice words, we argued, and I told her off because IF she actually were waiting in line, she shouldn't have been standing 15 feet away.  I'm not happy that I lost my cool, but sometimes these people have to hear how stupid they are or else they'll never know.



During one of my motorcycle trips around Michigan, I stopped at a Dairy Queen in Grayling, and while I sat on my motorcycle eating a cone, I snapped pictures of patrons coming up to the DQ and standing in line.

When I was in line earlier, I stood right behind the person in front of me, and when she had received her order, she turned around to walk away and shot me a look that said, "What is wrong with you?"  I was 2 feet behind her, which seemed completely normal to me.  To her, that was way too close for comfort.

Americans grow up with distance between them.  Our houses are usually not abutting the neighbors (except maybe in older crowded cities). We also grow up scared to death somebody will touch us.  At Wal*Mart, on this same trip, a woman brushed by me, literally her shirt brushed my shirt, and at her reaction I instinctively flinched because she turned suddenly on me and raised her arms and said, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"  At first I had no idea on earth what was happening and why this woman was frantically trying to appease me.  She proceeded to apologize more specifically for "bumping into" me (!)

All the while she's apologizing, I'm thinking about my last 14 years in Korea where bumping and pushing are just part of daily life.  She had no idea that her little brush of my shirt was literally nothing compared to what I'm used to.

Americans have conditioned themselves to need as much space as possible, both physically and psychologically.  The concept of personal space is real, but I think Americans take if way too far.  Humans have no real reason so keep such distance from each other.  We are all in life together; we are all related.

Distance does not create community.  Closeness creates community. If America is to become a real society, a peaceful, caring society, this notion of huge personal space has to vanish.  Get close to your neighbor.  Stand near each other in line.  Reach out and touch a stranger to show that you're no threat, that distance is not necessary.  Use your body to spread the message of peace and love for your fellow human beings by making your personal space as small as possible.